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Anomalous Space Time Piping
a stochastically driven life
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So, there I was, playing bagpipes on campus, like you do, when some random person stops their car, hops out, gushes "I love your music!", presses five bucks into my hands, and speeds off.

I guess that's one way to motivate me to practice more.

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Current Mood: amused amused

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I now dream.

Rather, I may have been dreaming before, but my sleep was so awful that I didn't remember it. But, now with the CPAP properly set I'm getting deep enough sleep that I have multiple vivid dreams nightly.

Apparently my dream making machinery is out of practice because these dreams have been lucid, but surreal. It's like I'm sitting in the Theater of Dreams while my brain is bumbling around the control room gone dusty through lack of use. The brain struggles to remember how to use it. So it's mashing buttons, pushing levers, and twiddling dials while looking at the faded manual via reading glasses with a bad prescription. There I sit watching the weirdest stuff unfold. Like sitting at a comedy show with a couple that aren't a couple in real life. Lessee, B and C are really boyfriend/girlfriend, but there B sits with R and not C, and R is married to someone else in real life; worse yet, in reality they move in completely unrelated social orbits. But, whatever ole brain, you keep twiddling those dials.

Oh, and the comedy show never started. It was all about the waiting to get in. Oh, brain.

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My big plan for Friday night is to sleep. Really sleep.

I know that this isn't exciting. Most other folks will be out seeing movies, having dinner, going to concerts, and the like. But, me? Snug in my bed.

Why am I looking forward to sleeping tomorrow night? Because my damned CPAP machine will, at long last, be properly adjusted.

The result of the sleep study from over a month ago was that to get proper stage three sleep my CPAP needed to be at 10. (I'm not sure what '10' measures, but whatever.) It is currently at four. In fact it has been at four for several years so I've not been getting good rest in all that time.

Imagine waking up feeling like you could just go right back to sleep. Imagine wanting to take naps during the day. Imagine fuzzing out in the middle of conversations. Imagine not being able to concentrate. Imagine not being able to remember things. That has been me. And I'm so very much looking forward to making all that go away.

The technician contacts me tomorrow to walk me through adjusting the machine. Can't wait.
But it wasn't easy getting hereCollapse )

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Current Mood: sleepy sleepy

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A couple nights ago I achieved a significant milestone with regards to dissertation writing: 100 pages.
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Current Mood: accomplished accomplished

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The stick has been replaced by the carrot, which is decidedly a turn for the better.

Scant months ago I was under the gun --- and a large caliber one at that --- to finish this Summer. My advisor and I pushed for an extension for the Fall as we felt that was a tough, but doable, time limit. Instead, the administration was feeling particularly magnanimous (or finally got embarrassed enough by the series of errors it made for which it made me suffer) and gave me until the Spring of '14. I was immensely relieved.

However, even though I've until next Spring to finish, I still intend on defending this Fall. Why? Because now I have new incentive to do so, and this time a positive one.

I have informally accepted a post-doc position at Penn State starting in January. And, well, the "post" of "post-doc" sorta implies that I'd already be a doctor, ya know? =)

So, now I'm strongly motivated to wrap up over the next several months and get hooded in December. But this time the motivation is fueled by something to look forward to, and not abject fear of failure.

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Let's just say it's not every day that one gets Bat Girl to help set up a tent. In the dark. With howling wind gusts.

Ok, let me backtrack as what I wrote is completely true --- and for those that have been to burner events before are likely not in the least surprised that this is so.
On bagpipes, superheroes, pet memorials, and suchCollapse )

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Current Mood: nostalgic nostalgic

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I've been motivated by fengi's "Comment month," whereby he will strive to comment on every single of his friends' LJ posts this month. Good idea, that. So, fengi, you can safely mark me down as a data point in your favor.

(And I like one of the comments. "Now I have this mental image of you straddling LiveJournal and pounding its sternum with both fists while yelling ``LIVE, damn you, LIVE!''")

I have a lot to share, but I'll do so piecemeal ... one entry at a time. I'm hoping that tactic increases the likelihood that I will write more here. (And that I can, in turn, harness some productive writing momentum.)

So, this happened.Collapse )

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Current Location: Lair of the Frazzled Grad Student
Current Mood: relieved relieved

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So, I've been playing round with binaural beats as a productivity aid. I'm not sure if it actually helps, but I do get an interesting lingering acoustic hallucination when I listen to this for more than, say, fifteen minutes, and then turn off the audio feed. (Note, you will need to listen to that with headphones, and likely with the volume turned up a bit.) I do feel ... something ... while listening. My heart rate seems to pick up and I feel what can best be described as a little anxious. I'm not sure if my focus has improved.

Would anyone else like to give a listen and provide feedback?

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Please be warned that I'm mostly venting about R in this post. Or, rather, venting and sharing knowledge.Boring esoterica cutCollapse )
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  • Thu, 15:13: RT @neiltyson: In 5-billion yrs the Sun will expand & engulf our orbit as the charred ember that was once Earth vaporizes. Have a ni ...
  • Thu, 15:31: $800 for bereavement travel? No thanks #delta. That costs more than flying to Europe. Time to call their competition.
  • Thu, 15:44: And that's $950 via United for bereavement. Apparently there'll be an additional memorial service for my wallet.
  • Thu, 23:38: RT @axb21: I can always blow my own mind by remembering that what we experience as cold is the atoms and molecules in the air moving slower.
  • Fri, 06:51: Great. Airport parking bus gets into fender bender. Nice start to trip.
  • Fri, 06:56: RT @kdrum: Republicans Might Be Outsmarting Themselves on the Electoral College http://t.co/zRgquZ7y

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